Thursday, April 7, 2011

A number of years ago, I had a few members of my family quarreling, and I wrote this to both of them. It has been years since I've read it...And I am bothered by the fact that I still don't practice the advice as much as I should, or, as much as I would like to. But I believe in it's message, and thought it might be a good time to share it. It's called.......
10%





People Are Only Human


Did you know that the average Human Being only uses 10% of their brain for actual intelligent thought? That small percentage has to cover all your thinking, reasoning, logic, and all your decision making. Everything you do, everything you say, and everything you think. Only 10%

Is it any wonder then that people think, say, and do, so many wrong, or bad things? So many stupid things? Is it any wonder that the human race is still here at all, that we have not killed ourselves off by now? That you, or I, have not really reached out, and with our 10% minds, frustrated to the point of disbelief, choked to death the idiot standing in front of us. Frankly, I’m amazed. So...Why not? I guess, in general, we have to come to some conclusions.

“People are only human”. Generally, this statement’s intent is to point out that we all make mistakes, or errors. We are “Only Human” if we lose our temper, or if we have certain undesirable tendencies. If you forget to do something, or if you didn’t do the right thing, you say, “Hey, I’m only human”. Or catching someone in error, you might say ”Hey forget it. Your only human”. Or maybe....you might say something else!

But it is true. People are “Only human.” From time to time all of us are in error. You, Me, every one of us, are sometimes in error. And not all of us are equal in this bad judgment. Some people are definitely more in error, more often, than others are. But it is that same fact, of being human, that gives us the intelligence and capacity to decide what errors are unforgivable, and what errors will receive understanding, or acceptance, compassion or forgiveness. Remember to grade on a curve, and that everyone does not have the same capacities for intelligence, judgment, or compassion. That not everyone is as good as, or maybe could ever be, as good as you.

Some argue that these are genetic traits, evolution at it’s best. Others of faith believe they are from God. Whatever you hold stock in, they’re there, and you need to use them.





Standing on Righteous Ground


Whether you call someone on an issue or if your just reacting to a situation. Whether you think you’re in the right, or know you’re in the right, if your being adamant about something, well my friend, you’re standing on “Righteous ground.”
You, me, all of us make a stand on righteous ground from time to time. Whether it’s a small issue or a large one, you have a point of view you’d be willing to argue. You’re in the right, and they are in the wrong.

This is all well and fine, and even necessary. Some times they are in the wrong. But most times there must be a compromise for the good of all. If we are to get along, we must have rules, we must have order. But there are some considerations a reasonable, and intelligent person must remember. When you are standing on righteous ground you could be (1) totally right, (2) partly right, and (3) totally wrong. When standing adamantly, 2 of these 3 facts are not good!

Think about it. How many times have you been in a situation where you were totally in the right? Or how about the times you have said, “ Well, that’s true, but I’m still right over here!” Or “ I guess we were both in the right”. Or “ We were both in the wrong” How many times have you been in a situation where you were at the yelling or fist slamming stage only to later reason out that you were being a total jerk? You were the Idiot standing in front of us!

You are not alone. All of us have been the jerk at one time or another, and will be again! You are only human. And the Earth is not heaven. Problems are going to pop up. They’re going to be a jerk sometimes. You’re going to be a jerk sometimes.
The point here is Righteous ground is a wonderful place to be standing, if you’re in the right 100%. But it is a fool’s paradise for the partially right, and dangerous ground for the completely wrong. When you find yourself standing there, always check and make sure your 100% correct. If not, beat it fast over to compromise land! And remember to be careful where you stand






Sheep, Shepherds, and Wolves


One of the things you learn quickly in life is that people are different. It is a wonderful thing, and it’s what makes us the social creatures that we are. But it also causes problems.

When you interact with someone else, you judge him or her. And they judge you! It's just a Human thing. We try to figure out how to consider this person in human being terms. Are they nice? Are they mean? Are they weak, or strong? Are they smart or stupid? Are they someone we like or not. You judge people all the time. You are judged all the time!

This is a prime example of standing on righteous ground. So what can be done to try to eliminate errors? What can we do to judge people correctly, and make sure that we ourselves are judged correctly? Grouping solves some of these problems. Some people are like Sheep.

These are the people, you run into, who you might term as innocent or sweet. They are not leaders, but followers. They might seem resistant of change, or unsure of themselves. You might even think they are not all that smart. They’re not usually aggressive, or think that they have to “ Have it all.” They’re satisfied with less. They basically want a calm, nice life, and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Sometimes they do stupid things. They’re like Sheep.

Some people are like Shepherds. They are termed as kind or thoughtful. Whether they appear to be or whether they think they are, they are leaders. Maybe not as much as a President or a CEO, or even a shop manager, but in everyday life, they are leaders. They roll with the punches and can handle most situations as they come. They are people whom you would respect if you were a sheep, or a shepherd. Not usually aggressive they also desire a calm, nice life, but they will take on confrontation whether it is directed against them or some one else. They’re like Shepherds.

Some people are like Wolves. They are usually termed as self centered or, egotistical. They will use the sheep, or the shepherd to get what they want. A whole world is out there, and they want it all! They usually confuse kindness, and tolerance, with weakness and fear. There is what they think, and then there’s all the other stupid ideas or ideals. Compassion and sympathy are replaced with intolerance and anger. They cannot tolerate the sheep and they’re UN-aggressive, and seemingly, unintelligent ways. But wolves dislike shepherds even more because of their choice to be shepherds when they could be wolves. They can not understand the lack of desire, or need to be on top. They’re like wolves.






Don’t Be Ugly


This is a term taught to me by my wife, who learned it from her mother. If you are angry, or mad. If you are yelling, or screaming. If you are being jealous, or envious. If you are being indifferent to needs, or self-centered, or selfish. You are being ugly. And, I’m sure that you can think of many other examples.

Being ugly is another prime example of standing on righteous ground. The fact is, that you are so “correct” in your view, that you get ugly about it.Only in books or movies does being ugly work. There is that shock value, but seldom does it reap the benefits of immediate understanding. It rather, always gathers distance, and gaps between people. It creates a breeding ground for more ugliness, either on your part, or others. When you lose control of yourself, and your emotions, it does cause a reaction. And that reaction usually is for others to lose control of themselves, and basically, gives them an excuse to do so!

You’ve heard all the old sayings “ Keep your words soft for you may have to eat them” or, “ You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” How about “The wise man keeps his ears open and his mouth shut”. These sayings have been around for a long time. Why? Because they’re good advice! They’re true!

Living in the real world, there are times when you may not have any other choice. We will not be ignorant to the possibility that in certain, rare, situations you may have to be ugly. But these are far and few between and in actuality may never be encountered in a lifetime of living. Remember that sheep will never respond positively to ugliness. It will only create distance and fear. You may actually defeat the purpose of your actions, with your actions.

Remember too, that even though the shepherd will not be so put off by your ugliness, that it also will not be appreciated. It will not be respected. And only so much will be tolerated. The end must justify the means.
The wolf will show one of two reactions. If directed at them they will most certainly fight. If directed at someone else, the range could go from approval to humor. They like to see victims. If some one approves of an ugly outburst, you need to be on guard, for who would show respect for such behavior but the wolf.
Ugly is a trait of the wolf. Ugly is unintelligent. Ugly is ”Lack of control”. Try hard not to be ugly.







Compromise and Police Yourself


Since people are so different, rarely is there one correct solution to a problem or situation. Rarely is everyone 100% happy with a decision, for the sake of all concerned, and as a tool to make sure you are not being ugly, you must learn to compromise. Nature does it, countries and governments do it, and you must do it. And remember one thing, “ A good deal is a good deal for both parties!” Look out for yourself, but be fair.

This is not only important for the sake of harmony between people, but is important for the sake of your own self-being. You should feel good about yourself when you are part of a compromise. It should not be felt as a loss, but as a gain. One of the greatest gifts you have is the gift of giving. And the greatest gift you can give is yourself.

Sometime ago, I realized that there were things about me that I did not like. And not that I had gained weight, or that my hair was falling out, but on the inside. There were traits, habits, and characteristics that I wish that I did not have. Things, that I considered ugly, when I saw them in other people, were manifested in me.
You must police yourself. You must make sure to examine if you are what you want to be. If you are what you should be. It is bad enough, and hard to take if someone else does this for you, but worse, no one else can do the job as good as you can. Old gardeners say “Dirt is what you get on your pants, and soil is what nature gives you to grow a harvest in”. Well, no one knows, as well, what you consider to be dirt and what you consider to be soil. No one knows what crops you are trying to sow. No one knows you, as good as you, yourself.

Remember to police yourself often and try to make sure that you are compassionate and understanding. Remember that people are different. And that, that is a good thing. You are not the best, and everyone can not be as good as you are. Pick out the positives in life, and if some mud comes your way, don’t put up a fence, make a sty, and wallow in it!

Remember to be cautious when standing on righteous ground. And remember not to set up a tent there. Remember that some people are not very nice human beings. But that most are, and just make mistakes like we all do.

Remember not to be ugly, a truly descriptive term if there ever was one.

Remember to police yourself, and others, in all these things, without being ugly.

And remember...The best way to lead...is by example.