Thursday, March 7, 2013

Noire's "National Lampoon" Vet Trip

Noire’s 2 years old now, and really feeling his Male Oats, and so we have decide to take him to be neutered. Since he’s never been to the Vet before, a Physical was required before they would consider making a Appointment to Neuter him this Friday...We met that obligation, this past Tuesday, took him for his Pre-Physical appointment Wednesday...The story that follows is the facts as remembered by Two People, while going through a traumatic experience. Kathy, and I have had Six cats now, over the past 16 years. All have been Males except One. So we thought we had a pretty good Bead on Male Cat Behavior. Especially since all were Un-Neutered, and became Neutered under our care...Almost Specialists...We could not have been more wrong!

          Noire’s always been, a very, loving, sweet Cat. He’s shown some heightened aggressive tendencies, but not much, and it’s mostly the wanting to “Spray” that is driving our need...For His be Neutered at this time.
         He Hadn’t liked His Ride Home, when I decided to bring him here, a Year and a Half ago, so I borrowed a Cat Kennel from a Friend. He wasn’t happy about the Kennel, or the Ride, but still Fine in our Opinion, as we arrived, and walked into the Vets Office.
        Now the Vets Office has Five Cats that they have rescued, and live there permanently, and have free Roam Rights to the place, and they use it! But...Even His reaction to the couple encounters with these, wasn’t bad...Almost curious...I couldn’t help but think to myself, that the Kennel at that point might have even been somewhat comforting. And when we got in the Examining Room, I swear, I sensed a felling of relief from Him when he was finally released from His Cage, and could breath a little bit.
        The Vet began the exam...Noire got Weighed...11.3 Lbs...He had his Ears Checked...His Teeth, and Mouth Checked, His Eyes, and Nose...Notes were being Taken, and Questions asked, and answered...All with no more than some slight apprehensiveness on Noire's part. The Doc then proceeded to Rake a Flea, and Tick Comb across him to check for those, and on the third pass...Without any warning that neither The Vet...Kathy...Or I noticed...Noire went Mr. Hyde.
        As Quick as lightning He swatted at my Right hand, and a gusher went up, as he gave out a slight Low Growl, and presented some what of a Chest Out aggressive Stance. He quickly resumed Relative Calm, under Kathy’s Supervision, as both the Doctor, and I tended to the wound. It did Bleed pretty good for it’s size, but it was small, wound, as I'm sure it's intention was to be only a “Warning”, and so was under control, bandaged, and in the past within 3 or 4 minutes.
        This is where there Vet decided to make what would turn out to be the Smartest move of the Day, and call in some “Back-Up!” The Tech. came in Wearing Welding Gloves, and I couldn’t help but think that was also, a pretty good move, as She, and the Doctor tried to resume the examination.
        It was then that Noire went from Mr. Hyde, to Hannibal Lecter... And the Doc, and the Tech. went from “Playing it Safe Examination”, to “Emergency Containment”...And the Wife, and I went to Reflexive, Unconscious, Backing up...clear the Corner of the room, and it was only the Sudden Stop, when we had reached it’s walls, that had caused me to notice that we had done so! Come to think of it...If it had been in Conscious Thought...I’m sure that our Fight, or Flight Instinct would have Kicked in, and common sense, and the need we all have for the preservation of our own lives would have had the both of us reaching for the Door, and leaving the Room!
        Noire had reverted to one of His Savanna Dwelling Ancestors...He had turned into a Threatened, Cornered, Wild Animal, and was doing everything He could to fight to get away. They were trying to Pin Him to the table, but they were losing...and quickly lost, as Noire escaped... Stood...Turned...Let out a Blood Curdling Scream...and Jumped off the Table, and behind a Trash Can, for Relief.
        It was then that the Ol’Pro in the Doc recognized Opportunity, and Need, and ran past us, and out of the Room. And with the three of us remaining in that room...With that thing!...The Vet Tech. started reassuring Noire, and Us, that everything was going to be OK...all the while Backing up until she was just about just about crowding us in our Corner! Kath, and I were both Wide eyed Shocked, and Thankful that Noire had sought solace, and escape, instead of Attack or Revenge.
        We three huddled in that corner for a minute and were silent except for me taking the Lords name in Vain, that slightly slipped out as I tried to keep it from my Lips. The Tech. then decided she would...or least should, be trying I guess, to regain control of the situation,...grabbed a Towel as a Shield...and climbed out of what was now “Our Corner” and slowly towards him. She tried to scoop him, but quickly lost two of those battles, and I couldn’t help but to think She was Crazy, and that she should either escape while she could, or wait for the Doctor to be back, Whom at this point in my mind, was either Getting more Back up... Loading up some type of Tranquilizer Gun...Or maybe...Just propping open the Front Door...Creating a clear path... and on Her way back to open our Door, and telling us all to get out! And we would have Too!, And wouldn’t She have been surprised, because I would have been trying to get out, without taking that Cat!
        It was then that the Doc re-appeared with an addition tech in Welding Gloves. They managed to Corner Him, and catching Him in a big Beach Towel, got him back to the table. And once again, the O’l Pro in the Doc came shinning through, as though years of having to deal with many episodes of “Animals Gone Wild”, had taught Her to recognize the “Hannibal Lecter Stage, and she produced from Her pocket, to my surprise, a “Hannibal Lecter Mask”! She handed it to one of the Techs, and as she put it on Him, Noire let out some of the most disturbing sounds I have ever heard, and tried his best to get free. There were Three of them Leaning on Him at this Point, and although it was enough to maintain Control, it was just when he would Buck, I swear he lifted slightly off the Table, and the Three of them lifted slightly off the Ground!
        Exhausted as Noire was at this point, the Instincts kicked in for the final time, and the Final act of a Wild Animal that feels that they are Prey...Have been Cornered, Attacked, Fought, and losing...Became “Mad Dog Mean”and was still losing...and as a last effort to get away, as she was trying to finish Her exam, He peed right in Her Face, and all over. I don’t know who I felt more sorry for...Noire or Her. But Once again...The Doc had seen it all before I guess, and took it all in stride, and with a Quick wipe of Her sleeve across Her face, finished Her Exam.
        Noire moaned, and moved a little as she did, but I guess was pretty much played out, and had resigned Himself to whatever his fate was to be. We of Course had tried to help throughout this entire experience...First Physically, and then Morally, for mainly noire, but for the Vet, and the Tech’s too! Maybe it helped Noire a bit, I’d like to think anyway...But I’m not so sure about the Staff though! It was soon after that, it was all over, and I was wonder how they were going to get him back in the Carrier, but He couldn’t get back in that thing Fast enough, as I guess, it was both finally escape, and safety.
        We Apologized for all the trouble to the Techs as they began leaving the room, and then to the Doc as she was at the Sink taking a Minor Sponge Bath to get the remaining Noire Pee off Her. She told us he was in GREAT SHAPE, and had passed the Pre-Surgery Physical with FLYING Colors! And with a few more instructions...The examination was done.
        We walked back out into the Receptionist/Waiting Area, and as I looked around the Room at the two receptionists, and the two People who were seated in the Waiting Area...I couldn’t help but notice that all of their Eyes were as big as Saucers! And Both Customers seemed to lean as they strained to get a look at just what we had in that Carrier...What manner of Beast was at the Center of all that they had must of heard.
        And as a Final Insult...To this Poor Vet, whom in our Opinion had also just been through one heck of a traumatic experience, the receptionist who was engaged in conversation with us asked when we wanted to set up for the Neutering, and which of the Vets we wanted to perform the Operation. I saw the Docs Eyebrows Raise as she looked at the receptionist, and then turned and looked at me...I wonder what she would have did had I said we wanted one of the other Docs to perform the Operation...For someone else to get that Easy Money after all she had been through...But with no fear for Noire's Care, but with some reservation for Our own Personal Safety at this Point, I said without Question we would like this Doc right here to do it. So we set the Appointment...Paid our Bill for services rendered that Day, and out to the car we all went.
        Noire let out a few Meows on the ride Home, but nothing like He did on the ride to the Vets, and I truley believe most of it, was him engaging us in conversation about his story of what had just happened! I did wonder as I opened his Carrier back in the House on exactly what might happen, and so Kath had grabbed up Rocky, and both of them were safe behind closed doors as I opened the carrier...But after a few seconds, he slowly came out, and I talked to him, and began to pet Him to comfort him, and with a few more Meows, He walked a short distance, and laid down, safe in his own home, a little wide eyed, and I’m sure wondering what the heck just happened! He slept most of the rest of the day, was quite subdued, and only required a few trips to His food Dish...And some attention from Kath, and I. He returned pretty much, to his old self by the next morning.
        We take him tomorrow for the Neutering, and am thankful that our part is only going to be getting Him in the Carrier, and Quickly locking the Door, and then...just dropping Him off! I think that the Vets Office, will be a little more prepared with the Knowledge, that they now have in hand, and the Drugs that they can now be using to Knock Him out anyway! And for us...our final part in this...all we have to do is pick up a Drugged out, Testosterone-less Cat...and bring Him home... All with the hope, that this was all worth everyone's efforts, and that all concerned...will all live Happily ever after!

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