Giving and Receiving

When I was a child growing up, my thoughts on the giving/receiving ratio were at about 100% on the receiving side. Giving was alright, but mainly because of what would be thought of you, if you did not give. Yep...It was definitely at best 1/99 It was definitely better to receive!

When I got to the teen stage, the ratio was at about 25/75. Giving was cool...Giving was something that you should do...I certainly understood that...But ha...I knew what was natural...I knew what was obvious...It was still better to receive. I mean...I wasn't a kid anymore. I mean, Isn't that one of the things you get now that your growning up?...The really Grown-Up-Adult cool stuff?

Then I became a young Man, with a Wife, and a Child, and the ratio finally hit the 50/50 point. Partially because you hit the point where you really realize...Your not a kid anymore...Your a Grown-Up now! And that saying..."Christmas is for kids"...Doesn't just mean December 25Th.

Also partially, because like most folks, your not swimming in money. And so you begin to accept things like...No ones going to give you that ridiculous Stereo system you dream to have. You know...The one that your favorite Rock Band would be proud to own. The one that would blow the walls of your house out at 1/2 volume. The one that you would never dare to turn up all the way for fear of causing a Natural Disaster!

Or maybe it was something like that..."It contains every Tool that we sell here at Sears Sir"... You know...That tool set that you've salivated over. You know...The one where you can't even identify half of the tools in it, more or less know what there used for. Well...maybe not...but they're shinny...and there's lots of them too!...And some of them have Electrical Plugs! Ha, ha, Power Tools!!

Or maybe your dream was that little gift wrapped box that opens up to a set of Keys that go to a Foreign Sports Car. The one all new, and shinny, and clean with a big Red Bow on it, awaiting you in the driveway. You know...the one that already comes with 2 Speeding Tickets under the Wiper. The one that comes with its own legal team to defend all those whiplash lawsuits. The one that surely will be coming your way as people can not help themselves, but to turn their heads too quickly, so as not to miss observing any of the coolness that you and your new car flash as you speed by. Yea...That one! Well...No!...you realize...Chances are...None of these things are going to happen!

And lastly...partially because you really are starting to grow up. Really beginning to learn some lessons about life. Some of those, that they really have been trying to hammer into you. Like..."you really should eat your Vegetables", even if you don't like them. Or "Save some money for your future". Or maybe it was "Don't burn your Bridges behind you". Or "What goes around, comes around". Or...how about, "It is better to give, then to receive". Yea...What about that one!

By the time Midlife starts to kick in...You've laid down a good foundation of giving. Your proud of the things you've done for others...For yourself, and your Family. You've built a Home, and a Family with you own two hands, and seen the needs, and wants of others, and tried your best to fill them. You might have had some help along the way...sure. But you've worked hard for everything you've gotten, and you didn't take Charity from anyone! And, surely, the Giving/Receiving ratio has got to be like...80/20 by now! You really are proud!

And it is that Pride, that brings us to the reason for this post today. That pride that wont permit you to take anything from anybody. That pride that dictates that any large gift, not on a holiday, is charity. It is that Pride that you can hold so high, that it not only can shade your needs, but also the needs of those around you. And sometimes even the need...that someone might have, to give...to you! Now I've wrestled with this pride, and imagine that I always will have to...As a matter of fact...I had to just today. Because today I received a gift...Today, I was on the receiving end. And as it turned out, as so many things in life do...I ended up receiving much more than myself, or even the giver had imagined. Because today...I didn't just get a gift...Today I was touched by an Angel!

Now it's not Christmas...It's not my Birthday...There is no Anniversary to celebrate...And there is no tragic need...It's just a day...A regular day. And so when out of the Blue somebody wanted to do something for me...A big something! My first thoughts were..."Why would you do that?...What do you think, I can't do it for myself?"! And then "I can't let you do that"! And it was my pride that was controlling my reactions. It was later that I learned that it was my pride that had controlled my thoughts. It was my pride that actually made the moment, well...Embarrassing. And so, my first reaction was to fall back on my pride, and refuse.

But now my giver didn't take no for an answer. Didn't say, "Well OK, If that's how you feel about it", and go. Didn't say "Are you sure I can't do this for you?", get a "Thanks, but No Thanks", and give up. No...They just continued to further explain why they wanted to do this. And so after some debate, and with a "uncomfortable situational laugh", I promised that the gift would be considered.

At first I looked at it through my prideful eyes, and even though I really could use this gift, I thought of it in nothing but negative terms. "I mean after all...This was going to screw my Giving/Receiving ratio all up!" But then over half a Century of living kicked in, and I thought about some of the lessons that had been taught to me. Some of the lessons, that I now try to pass on, to the next generation. And in particular, a lesson that I thought I had completely learned. The lesson that it is better to give, than to receive. And my thoughts led me to, maybe I had not completely learned the lesson of Giving, and receiving. And maybe, I had not been passing on the entire lesson. Maybe...I should think a little differently, and a little more, about the receiving end now.

So I thought about all the times I had given, and how good it had made me feel. I thought about the reasons, that this giver, had for their act of kindness. The reasons, that they had, for wanting to fill a need, that I had. And the reasons that they, had only wanted to be know, as "Somebody". And I realized that maybe my Giving/Receiving Ratio was already out of whack! That maybe, I had not completely learned the lesson. Because maybe this was, "What goes around, comes around"...Maybe this was "As so you shall Sow, So shall you Reap!"... Maybe...By receiving...I was helping to fulfill a need, that this somebody had...for giving. For when it comes down to it...this was gift at it's purest form...It was a gift of love.

And so, the reasons for this post today is to hopefully pass on some additional parts to a lesson, that I thought, I had a complete learned. Do not let your pride dominate your decsions. Do not let your pride stand in the way of your needs, or the needs of others. Do not let your pide stand in the way of others, giving, to you. For even though it is better to give than to receive, do not let your pride get your Giving/Receiving ratio so completely out of whack, that you believe, that giving to you,is charity.

And I want to say "Thank-You" to my giver...my somebody. Not only for their gift, and their kindness...but also for thier caring, and love. And also for their help in teaching me another lesson. For today...I was loved...I was cared for...And I was taught of love. Today...I was touched by an Angel
-Mike-