Road Kill Turkey and Mashed Potatoes

Happy Thanksgiving! This is my favorite Holiday of the year. I really like to eat...And being Thankful is something that we all need to take the time out to do. I guess so much so, that they invented a Holiday...just for the purpose! People have a lot of different traditions, and Foods at Thanksgiving. Different ways that they show they're thankfulness. And sometimes they even have a Thanksgiving story. Maybe a Story well...Out of the ordinary. I have one of those Stories.

Thanksgiving day, in 1971, I was 13 years old. My three older Brothers, and my Sister, were all Married, and had families of they're own by then. And my Brothers had not only moved out of the house, but had all moved to different States, and so as chance had it that year, they were not coming for Thanksgiving. Now my Sister only lived a few miles away, and so we enjoyed the Holiday's together every year. But I guess as a Grown Woman, maybe wanting to start making her own mark, she had requested to have the Thanksgiving Meal, at her house that year. And so the plan was, that My Mother, and I, would go over there to have the Thanksgiving.

Now my Sister had a Toddler, and a Newborn at the time, and so as to ease the burden, they had decided that my Mother, would make half of the meal, and my Sister, would make the other half. I can not remember exactly how the meal was to be split up...but what I do most certainly recall, is that amongst the things that my Mother was to do, were to Roast the Turkey, and make the Gravy! I woke up Thanksgiving Morning...rubbed my eyes, and about halfway through my stretching, and yawning, my nostrils kicked in. Mother of course had already been up for hours, and so they filled with all the the great aromas that permeate a house on Thanksgiving day. And of course...the dominate aroma, was Turkey, aah...does anything smell better then a Turkey roasting on Thanksgiving day!


Now as a family, we grew up very poor. And so, we never did own a Car. So my Sisters Husband, my Brother in-law, was to drive over, and pick us, and everything my Mother had prepared up, and take it all back to they're house. When he showed up, my Mother and He, talked about what would be put where in the Car. Either here or there, and would the Items be safe...Would they survive the six mile drive intact. Now the Turkey was in this great Big Aluminum Roaster that my Mother always used, and the decision was, that the best place for the safety of that, would be the in the Trunk. Now at 13 years old, you leap on any opportunity to prove that your growing up...To prove that your a young Man now, and that you are capable of handling responsibilities...And more Importantly, That you are worthy of taking over some of the Ceremonial Elements that accompany a Holiday. And so It was with Eagerness, and Pride when I spoke up, and volunteered, to carry the Turkey out and put it in the Car. At first they were a little Doubtful...But with some pushing on my part, and my Brother In-Law risking his neck by agreeing that I could do it, my Mom said OK, and so my Brother In-Law handed me the Keys, I grabbed the Roaster, and out the door I went.

My Brother in-law had a Yellow 1967 Old Delta 88 two door, with a Black Landau Roof. I loved that Car. Not only did I think it was Sporty looking, and cool, but my Brother in-law had taken me Hunting, and Fishing in it, and had even let me Steer it a few times while he was driving. It had lots of Gadgets, like Power Windows, and a Power Drivers Seat, and it even had a Power Trunk Release Button in the Glove Box. And so it was with Joy, and Pride that I walked out to the Car...Caring my Freshly Entrusted, New Found-Grown Up Responsibility, in my hands. Now as I said...I loved that Cars Gadgets. And so when I got out to the Car, I sat the Roaster down halfway on the Trunk Lid, and halfway on the Fender and instead of using the Keys to unlock the Trunk, I went for the Glove Box, and that Cool Power Trunk Release Button.


Why is it, that sometimes when you make a mistake...your mind tells you the First Second after it's too late, instead of the Second, before it's too late?...Such was the case at that moment...Such was the case when I heard the Trunk Releases Loud Pop...And such was the case when I remembered...just how stiff those Springs were for the Trunk Lid...How they just Snapped that Trunk Lid right up! And why is it...that you have to look!...Why must you, for some reason, witness the Tragic consequences of what your actions have caused? And so, I stood up, and turned, and looked...And I witnessed the Numerous Laws of Physics, Science, that I had set into motion unfold. Now I've learned through life, that in Certain Situations...you might not be in total control of your mind. Your thoughts,Your Mind, your Body...They React on they're own...And on that Day...And at that Time...my Mind took over, and controlled my Body.

Now there was no Sound...I had went Deaf as the Trunk Lid slowly gained speed...There was no Debate in my mind...I knew what was going to happen..And So I ran...But even with my Ancestral, Primordial, Savanna Dwelling, Instincts kicking in...my Bolt to Close the Trunk was too late...And so I watched with Horror as the Coup de Grace Passed, and over ,and off the the Turkey went.

It was in Slow Motion when everything flew...The Roasters lid came off and went in one direction, and the Turkey, and the Drippings flew in another. The Technicolor of the Turkeys Beautiful Browns and Golds were actually...quite Beautiful as it appeared...gained speed and...was launched into Space. And my Eyes watched in IMAX-3D, as gravity took over and everything crashed to the ground. And it was then my Hearing came back, as I heard the sound of Trunk Lid close...I had almost made it.

At first I was frozen in place Physically and Mentally as I stared down at the Carnage covering the Street in front of my House...The Turkey was on its side... scattered bits of Stuffing were everywhere...and all the Gravy Making Drippings where gone....All gone, spread out all over the Street...Steam coming off of everything. And as I came out of my Shock, Instincts kicked in once again, and I immediately turned my Head, to see if anyone was standing in our Kitchen Window, since it looked out onto the Street... But I saw no one...They didn't see! Once again Instincts, kicked in, and I found myself picking up the Turkey...throwing it back into the Roaster, and putting it all back on the Trunk Lid, before anyone Did see!

I stood there, mind racing to find a solution to get me out of the Enormous trouble that I knew I was in. And when nothing quickly came, I decide to act like I was Fumbling for the Keys in my Pocket. Yea...That would buy some time in case some one was looking! And when that had been played out, and still I had no Solution...I put the Roaster on the Bumper, stuck the keys in the Trunk Lock, opened the Trunk Lid, and placed the Roaster in the Trunk...Just as I should have just done in the first place. With no Solution still yet at hand, I pulled off the Roasters lid, and looked down at the Turkey, to re-examine the my options. I had to think of something... There had to be a way to pull this off!


But as I lifted the Lid off the Roaster, and stared down at what was inside...I experienced what Alcoholics call a "Moment of Sobriety!" The Turkey was now warped in its shape and looked like it was falling over. There was a One Leg Half torn from its Thigh, and there was a 3 or 4 Inch Hole where the end of the Stuffing should have been. There was Dirt that was covering some of the Top, and most of one side, and it stuck out like a sore thumb, because of its flat color contrasting with the Shine of the Skin that was left unharmed on the rest of the Turkey. Oh...And Yea...There were all those tiny pieces of Gravel embedded in the meat.

No if your like most folks you remember that when your a Kid, your mind does not always recognise the Hopelessness of certain Situations, and so you will attempt to to Cover Up what is Uncoverable...you will attempt to Fix the UN-fixable...And...You might try Anything to become the Un-catchable! And so I began quickly to pick out the pieces of Gravel that had now become part of our Thanksgiving Feast. And I was desperately trying to wipe off the Dirt with an some Old Paper Towels that my Brother in-Law kept in the trunk for Fishing, Hunting, and checking the Cars Engine oil. And I tried my best to prop the Turkey back up with some of the Stuffing, and torn Skin. And to Reposition the Broken Turkey Leg back, and up, and leaning against the side of the Bird. But as the Turkey Leg broken off in my hand...and I looked at the Bird...I realised that I was not going to be able to pull this off. No Matter what I did, it was still going to be obvious that something had happened to the Turkey...Something, Bad...And that something, had been at my hands!

Still being somewhat delusional, I thought that as long as I got the Bird as clean as I could, I at least could just plead Guilty to the lesser offence of Tripping, instead of the 15 yard personal foul, and maybe even avoid Ejection from the Game! Yea...I Tripped, and almost dropped the Turkey. Yea..that caused the damage, that was why there was no Drippings left in the Roaster. It's was an unavoidable Accident! Why... Quite frankly...we were lucky that I caught it at all...Thanksgiving could have been ruined! I had saved the day! Heck...I probably deserve a "Well...Nice try!"...Or...they might even praise me! But as I picked at Gravel...more Meat came off...And as I wiped the Dirt...more Skin came off. And I finally realised...that it was Hopeless. And so I decided that fessing up to what had happened, was what I had to do. I had made...a terrible mistake...And so I picked up the Roaster and walked up the Sidewalk, and into the House to meet my Fate.

My eyes were on my Mother when I walked in. And When my Eyes met Hers, she was looking right through me, with a thousand yard stare...She had instantly knew... She said nothing as I sat it all on the Table. With my eyes still on Her, I took off the lid...I began picking at the Gravel and said, "I dropped it"..."It only hit the Ground a little Bit"..."We should be able to save some of it"....Not only could my Mother not Speak, but also had to walk out of the room!... And it was only then that I looked at my brother In-Law. He..was in Shock. His face was as blank as a postcard, and I don't think he was breathing. His Eyes did not even Blink as he looked at what just seconds ago was going to be his beautiful Thanksgiving Feast, and had now been turned into "Road Kill". I saw his Face go from Shock...to dis-belief...to disgust. He...walked outside.

I sat down at the Kitchen Table, and waited...And after a time, it was My Brother In-Law who came back in the room first, and said "Well...There's is nothing that we can do about it now". He wasn't Happy...But He wasn't Mad either. He told me to help him get everything loaded up into the Car, as he grabbed the Roaster and said "I'll Carry this". When we were done carrying everything out, he told me to wait in the Car, and he went back in the house. As I sat there I knew that he was trying to calm my Mother down, as she had not re-appeared from the Living Room by that time. After a few minuted he, and my Mother, came out the House, and got in the Car. No one said a word during the Drive to my Sisters House. And when we got there. My Mother, got out of the Car, and still silent, went straight in the house. My Brother In-Law, and I, got out, loaded our Hands, and Arms up, and walked into the House. My Mother had disappeared again, but apparently not before telling my Sister what had happened...I could tell by the look on Her Face. And with her Emotions in check, and with Sympathy for her little Brother...She gave me a big Hug.


And so with the Blessings that the Lord provides, especialy on a Thanksgiving Day....And with needed cool off time that the Emergency Menu adjustments gave...Everyone calmed down, and we all became Thankful once again, And when it was time...We sat down to our Thanksgiving Dinner. Everything my Sister made had turned out, And made it to the Table Intact! And so with that, we somehow managed to make it through...enjoying the simpler tastes...like picking Eatable Turkey out, from Earth and Stone...Or...just how good the Potato is on it's own! And that's how it was...Thanksgiving...1971! Three adults, one Adolescent, One Toddler and A Newborn...All sitting around a Table...Being thankful...for "Road Kill Turkey", and Mashed Potatoes.
-Mike-