This is a letter I wrote to a friend, who is in a battle to be able to continue the tradition of having a Nativity Scene in front of the Municipal Building in my Old home town. They are under threat of Lawsuit from a group of Agnostic Atheists.
Living in a "Free" land, has advantages, and dis-advantages. Freedom is not free. It comes with costs. And one of it's costs, is having to see, hear, or read something you don't like. It is part of being a free American. And in a land where freedom reigns, it is going to happen to any, and all of us from time to time.
Being offended by something does not, and should not, censor freedom of expression. If you can Legally say, "I Celebrate that I am a Christian", or, "I Celebrate that I am a Atheist", in front of the Municipal Building, than why can you not Celebrate Christianity, or Atheism in front as well. Governments most certainly should not be involved in Religion. And that's means they do neither stifle, nor do they promote, any "Certain" Religion, or, none as the case may be.
As long as they are not preventing a group from Celebrating they're chosen Faith & Practices, then they are not liable. But when they prohibit ANY group from ANY of these rights, then they are fully liable, and in direct violation of the Constitution of the United States
Monday, January 30, 2012
Thursday, April 7, 2011
A number of years ago, I had a few members of my family quarreling, and I wrote this to both of them. It has been years since I've read it...And I am bothered by the fact that I still don't practice the advice as much as I should, or, as much as I would like to. But I believe in it's message, and thought it might be a good time to share it. It's called.......
People Are Only Human
Did you know that the average Human Being only uses 10% of their brain for actual intelligent thought? That small percentage has to cover all your thinking, reasoning, logic, and all your decision making. Everything you do, everything you say, and everything you think. Only 10%
Is it any wonder then that people think, say, and do, so many wrong, or bad things? So many stupid things? Is it any wonder that the human race is still here at all, that we have not killed ourselves off by now? That you, or I, have not really reached out, and with our 10% minds, frustrated to the point of disbelief, choked to death the idiot standing in front of us. Frankly, I’m amazed. So...Why not? I guess, in general, we have to come to some conclusions.
“People are only human”. Generally, this statement’s intent is to point out that we all make mistakes, or errors. We are “Only Human” if we lose our temper, or if we have certain undesirable tendencies. If you forget to do something, or if you didn’t do the right thing, you say, “Hey, I’m only human”. Or catching someone in error, you might say ”Hey forget it. Your only human”. Or maybe....you might say something else!
But it is true. People are “Only human.” From time to time all of us are in error. You, Me, every one of us, are sometimes in error. And not all of us are equal in this bad judgment. Some people are definitely more in error, more often, than others are. But it is that same fact, of being human, that gives us the intelligence and capacity to decide what errors are unforgivable, and what errors will receive understanding, or acceptance, compassion or forgiveness. Remember to grade on a curve, and that everyone does not have the same capacities for intelligence, judgment, or compassion. That not everyone is as good as, or maybe could ever be, as good as you.
Some argue that these are genetic traits, evolution at it’s best. Others of faith believe they are from God. Whatever you hold stock in, they’re there, and you need to use them.
Standing on Righteous Ground
Whether you call someone on an issue or if your just reacting to a situation. Whether you think you’re in the right, or know you’re in the right, if your being adamant about something, well my friend, you’re standing on “Righteous ground.”
You, me, all of us make a stand on righteous ground from time to time. Whether it’s a small issue or a large one, you have a point of view you’d be willing to argue. You’re in the right, and they are in the wrong.
This is all well and fine, and even necessary. Some times they are in the wrong. But most times there must be a compromise for the good of all. If we are to get along, we must have rules, we must have order. But there are some considerations a reasonable, and intelligent person must remember. When you are standing on righteous ground you could be (1) totally right, (2) partly right, and (3) totally wrong. When standing adamantly, 2 of these 3 facts are not good!
Think about it. How many times have you been in a situation where you were totally in the right? Or how about the times you have said, “ Well, that’s true, but I’m still right over here!” Or “ I guess we were both in the right”. Or “ We were both in the wrong” How many times have you been in a situation where you were at the yelling or fist slamming stage only to later reason out that you were being a total jerk? You were the Idiot standing in front of us!
You are not alone. All of us have been the jerk at one time or another, and will be again! You are only human. And the Earth is not heaven. Problems are going to pop up. They’re going to be a jerk sometimes. You’re going to be a jerk sometimes.
The point here is Righteous ground is a wonderful place to be standing, if you’re in the right 100%. But it is a fool’s paradise for the partially right, and dangerous ground for the completely wrong. When you find yourself standing there, always check and make sure your 100% correct. If not, beat it fast over to compromise land! And remember to be careful where you stand
Sheep, Shepherds, and Wolves
One of the things you learn quickly in life is that people are different. It is a wonderful thing, and it’s what makes us the social creatures that we are. But it also causes problems.
When you interact with someone else, you judge him or her. And they judge you! It's just a Human thing. We try to figure out how to consider this person in human being terms. Are they nice? Are they mean? Are they weak, or strong? Are they smart or stupid? Are they someone we like or not. You judge people all the time. You are judged all the time!
This is a prime example of standing on righteous ground. So what can be done to try to eliminate errors? What can we do to judge people correctly, and make sure that we ourselves are judged correctly? Grouping solves some of these problems. Some people are like Sheep.
These are the people, you run into, who you might term as innocent or sweet. They are not leaders, but followers. They might seem resistant of change, or unsure of themselves. You might even think they are not all that smart. They’re not usually aggressive, or think that they have to “ Have it all.” They’re satisfied with less. They basically want a calm, nice life, and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Sometimes they do stupid things. They’re like Sheep.
Some people are like Shepherds. They are termed as kind or thoughtful. Whether they appear to be or whether they think they are, they are leaders. Maybe not as much as a President or a CEO, or even a shop manager, but in everyday life, they are leaders. They roll with the punches and can handle most situations as they come. They are people whom you would respect if you were a sheep, or a shepherd. Not usually aggressive they also desire a calm, nice life, but they will take on confrontation whether it is directed against them or some one else. They’re like Shepherds.
Some people are like Wolves. They are usually termed as self centered or, egotistical. They will use the sheep, or the shepherd to get what they want. A whole world is out there, and they want it all! They usually confuse kindness, and tolerance, with weakness and fear. There is what they think, and then there’s all the other stupid ideas or ideals. Compassion and sympathy are replaced with intolerance and anger. They cannot tolerate the sheep and they’re UN-aggressive, and seemingly, unintelligent ways. But wolves dislike shepherds even more because of their choice to be shepherds when they could be wolves. They can not understand the lack of desire, or need to be on top. They’re like wolves.
Don’t Be Ugly
This is a term taught to me by my wife, who learned it from her mother. If you are angry, or mad. If you are yelling, or screaming. If you are being jealous, or envious. If you are being indifferent to needs, or self-centered, or selfish. You are being ugly. And, I’m sure that you can think of many other examples.
Being ugly is another prime example of standing on righteous ground. The fact is, that you are so “correct” in your view, that you get ugly about it.Only in books or movies does being ugly work. There is that shock value, but seldom does it reap the benefits of immediate understanding. It rather, always gathers distance, and gaps between people. It creates a breeding ground for more ugliness, either on your part, or others. When you lose control of yourself, and your emotions, it does cause a reaction. And that reaction usually is for others to lose control of themselves, and basically, gives them an excuse to do so!
You’ve heard all the old sayings “ Keep your words soft for you may have to eat them” or, “ You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” How about “The wise man keeps his ears open and his mouth shut”. These sayings have been around for a long time. Why? Because they’re good advice! They’re true!
Living in the real world, there are times when you may not have any other choice. We will not be ignorant to the possibility that in certain, rare, situations you may have to be ugly. But these are far and few between and in actuality may never be encountered in a lifetime of living. Remember that sheep will never respond positively to ugliness. It will only create distance and fear. You may actually defeat the purpose of your actions, with your actions.
Remember too, that even though the shepherd will not be so put off by your ugliness, that it also will not be appreciated. It will not be respected. And only so much will be tolerated. The end must justify the means.
The wolf will show one of two reactions. If directed at them they will most certainly fight. If directed at someone else, the range could go from approval to humor. They like to see victims. If some one approves of an ugly outburst, you need to be on guard, for who would show respect for such behavior but the wolf.
Ugly is a trait of the wolf. Ugly is unintelligent. Ugly is ”Lack of control”. Try hard not to be ugly.
Compromise and Police Yourself
Since people are so different, rarely is there one correct solution to a problem or situation. Rarely is everyone 100% happy with a decision, for the sake of all concerned, and as a tool to make sure you are not being ugly, you must learn to compromise. Nature does it, countries and governments do it, and you must do it. And remember one thing, “ A good deal is a good deal for both parties!” Look out for yourself, but be fair.
This is not only important for the sake of harmony between people, but is important for the sake of your own self-being. You should feel good about yourself when you are part of a compromise. It should not be felt as a loss, but as a gain. One of the greatest gifts you have is the gift of giving. And the greatest gift you can give is yourself.
Sometime ago, I realized that there were things about me that I did not like. And not that I had gained weight, or that my hair was falling out, but on the inside. There were traits, habits, and characteristics that I wish that I did not have. Things, that I considered ugly, when I saw them in other people, were manifested in me.
You must police yourself. You must make sure to examine if you are what you want to be. If you are what you should be. It is bad enough, and hard to take if someone else does this for you, but worse, no one else can do the job as good as you can. Old gardeners say “Dirt is what you get on your pants, and soil is what nature gives you to grow a harvest in”. Well, no one knows, as well, what you consider to be dirt and what you consider to be soil. No one knows what crops you are trying to sow. No one knows you, as good as you, yourself.
Remember to police yourself often and try to make sure that you are compassionate and understanding. Remember that people are different. And that, that is a good thing. You are not the best, and everyone can not be as good as you are. Pick out the positives in life, and if some mud comes your way, don’t put up a fence, make a sty, and wallow in it!
Remember to be cautious when standing on righteous ground. And remember not to set up a tent there. Remember that some people are not very nice human beings. But that most are, and just make mistakes like we all do.
Remember not to be ugly, a truly descriptive term if there ever was one.
Remember to police yourself, and others, in all these things, without being ugly.
And remember...The best way to lead...is by example.
10%
People Are Only Human
Did you know that the average Human Being only uses 10% of their brain for actual intelligent thought? That small percentage has to cover all your thinking, reasoning, logic, and all your decision making. Everything you do, everything you say, and everything you think. Only 10%
Is it any wonder then that people think, say, and do, so many wrong, or bad things? So many stupid things? Is it any wonder that the human race is still here at all, that we have not killed ourselves off by now? That you, or I, have not really reached out, and with our 10% minds, frustrated to the point of disbelief, choked to death the idiot standing in front of us. Frankly, I’m amazed. So...Why not? I guess, in general, we have to come to some conclusions.
“People are only human”. Generally, this statement’s intent is to point out that we all make mistakes, or errors. We are “Only Human” if we lose our temper, or if we have certain undesirable tendencies. If you forget to do something, or if you didn’t do the right thing, you say, “Hey, I’m only human”. Or catching someone in error, you might say ”Hey forget it. Your only human”. Or maybe....you might say something else!
But it is true. People are “Only human.” From time to time all of us are in error. You, Me, every one of us, are sometimes in error. And not all of us are equal in this bad judgment. Some people are definitely more in error, more often, than others are. But it is that same fact, of being human, that gives us the intelligence and capacity to decide what errors are unforgivable, and what errors will receive understanding, or acceptance, compassion or forgiveness. Remember to grade on a curve, and that everyone does not have the same capacities for intelligence, judgment, or compassion. That not everyone is as good as, or maybe could ever be, as good as you.
Some argue that these are genetic traits, evolution at it’s best. Others of faith believe they are from God. Whatever you hold stock in, they’re there, and you need to use them.
Standing on Righteous Ground
Whether you call someone on an issue or if your just reacting to a situation. Whether you think you’re in the right, or know you’re in the right, if your being adamant about something, well my friend, you’re standing on “Righteous ground.”
You, me, all of us make a stand on righteous ground from time to time. Whether it’s a small issue or a large one, you have a point of view you’d be willing to argue. You’re in the right, and they are in the wrong.
This is all well and fine, and even necessary. Some times they are in the wrong. But most times there must be a compromise for the good of all. If we are to get along, we must have rules, we must have order. But there are some considerations a reasonable, and intelligent person must remember. When you are standing on righteous ground you could be (1) totally right, (2) partly right, and (3) totally wrong. When standing adamantly, 2 of these 3 facts are not good!
Think about it. How many times have you been in a situation where you were totally in the right? Or how about the times you have said, “ Well, that’s true, but I’m still right over here!” Or “ I guess we were both in the right”. Or “ We were both in the wrong” How many times have you been in a situation where you were at the yelling or fist slamming stage only to later reason out that you were being a total jerk? You were the Idiot standing in front of us!
You are not alone. All of us have been the jerk at one time or another, and will be again! You are only human. And the Earth is not heaven. Problems are going to pop up. They’re going to be a jerk sometimes. You’re going to be a jerk sometimes.
The point here is Righteous ground is a wonderful place to be standing, if you’re in the right 100%. But it is a fool’s paradise for the partially right, and dangerous ground for the completely wrong. When you find yourself standing there, always check and make sure your 100% correct. If not, beat it fast over to compromise land! And remember to be careful where you stand
Sheep, Shepherds, and Wolves
One of the things you learn quickly in life is that people are different. It is a wonderful thing, and it’s what makes us the social creatures that we are. But it also causes problems.
When you interact with someone else, you judge him or her. And they judge you! It's just a Human thing. We try to figure out how to consider this person in human being terms. Are they nice? Are they mean? Are they weak, or strong? Are they smart or stupid? Are they someone we like or not. You judge people all the time. You are judged all the time!
This is a prime example of standing on righteous ground. So what can be done to try to eliminate errors? What can we do to judge people correctly, and make sure that we ourselves are judged correctly? Grouping solves some of these problems. Some people are like Sheep.
These are the people, you run into, who you might term as innocent or sweet. They are not leaders, but followers. They might seem resistant of change, or unsure of themselves. You might even think they are not all that smart. They’re not usually aggressive, or think that they have to “ Have it all.” They’re satisfied with less. They basically want a calm, nice life, and will do almost anything to avoid confrontation. Sometimes they do stupid things. They’re like Sheep.
Some people are like Shepherds. They are termed as kind or thoughtful. Whether they appear to be or whether they think they are, they are leaders. Maybe not as much as a President or a CEO, or even a shop manager, but in everyday life, they are leaders. They roll with the punches and can handle most situations as they come. They are people whom you would respect if you were a sheep, or a shepherd. Not usually aggressive they also desire a calm, nice life, but they will take on confrontation whether it is directed against them or some one else. They’re like Shepherds.
Some people are like Wolves. They are usually termed as self centered or, egotistical. They will use the sheep, or the shepherd to get what they want. A whole world is out there, and they want it all! They usually confuse kindness, and tolerance, with weakness and fear. There is what they think, and then there’s all the other stupid ideas or ideals. Compassion and sympathy are replaced with intolerance and anger. They cannot tolerate the sheep and they’re UN-aggressive, and seemingly, unintelligent ways. But wolves dislike shepherds even more because of their choice to be shepherds when they could be wolves. They can not understand the lack of desire, or need to be on top. They’re like wolves.
Don’t Be Ugly
This is a term taught to me by my wife, who learned it from her mother. If you are angry, or mad. If you are yelling, or screaming. If you are being jealous, or envious. If you are being indifferent to needs, or self-centered, or selfish. You are being ugly. And, I’m sure that you can think of many other examples.
Being ugly is another prime example of standing on righteous ground. The fact is, that you are so “correct” in your view, that you get ugly about it.Only in books or movies does being ugly work. There is that shock value, but seldom does it reap the benefits of immediate understanding. It rather, always gathers distance, and gaps between people. It creates a breeding ground for more ugliness, either on your part, or others. When you lose control of yourself, and your emotions, it does cause a reaction. And that reaction usually is for others to lose control of themselves, and basically, gives them an excuse to do so!
You’ve heard all the old sayings “ Keep your words soft for you may have to eat them” or, “ You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar” How about “The wise man keeps his ears open and his mouth shut”. These sayings have been around for a long time. Why? Because they’re good advice! They’re true!
Living in the real world, there are times when you may not have any other choice. We will not be ignorant to the possibility that in certain, rare, situations you may have to be ugly. But these are far and few between and in actuality may never be encountered in a lifetime of living. Remember that sheep will never respond positively to ugliness. It will only create distance and fear. You may actually defeat the purpose of your actions, with your actions.
Remember too, that even though the shepherd will not be so put off by your ugliness, that it also will not be appreciated. It will not be respected. And only so much will be tolerated. The end must justify the means.
The wolf will show one of two reactions. If directed at them they will most certainly fight. If directed at someone else, the range could go from approval to humor. They like to see victims. If some one approves of an ugly outburst, you need to be on guard, for who would show respect for such behavior but the wolf.
Ugly is a trait of the wolf. Ugly is unintelligent. Ugly is ”Lack of control”. Try hard not to be ugly.
Compromise and Police Yourself
Since people are so different, rarely is there one correct solution to a problem or situation. Rarely is everyone 100% happy with a decision, for the sake of all concerned, and as a tool to make sure you are not being ugly, you must learn to compromise. Nature does it, countries and governments do it, and you must do it. And remember one thing, “ A good deal is a good deal for both parties!” Look out for yourself, but be fair.
This is not only important for the sake of harmony between people, but is important for the sake of your own self-being. You should feel good about yourself when you are part of a compromise. It should not be felt as a loss, but as a gain. One of the greatest gifts you have is the gift of giving. And the greatest gift you can give is yourself.
Sometime ago, I realized that there were things about me that I did not like. And not that I had gained weight, or that my hair was falling out, but on the inside. There were traits, habits, and characteristics that I wish that I did not have. Things, that I considered ugly, when I saw them in other people, were manifested in me.
You must police yourself. You must make sure to examine if you are what you want to be. If you are what you should be. It is bad enough, and hard to take if someone else does this for you, but worse, no one else can do the job as good as you can. Old gardeners say “Dirt is what you get on your pants, and soil is what nature gives you to grow a harvest in”. Well, no one knows, as well, what you consider to be dirt and what you consider to be soil. No one knows what crops you are trying to sow. No one knows you, as good as you, yourself.
Remember to police yourself often and try to make sure that you are compassionate and understanding. Remember that people are different. And that, that is a good thing. You are not the best, and everyone can not be as good as you are. Pick out the positives in life, and if some mud comes your way, don’t put up a fence, make a sty, and wallow in it!
Remember to be cautious when standing on righteous ground. And remember not to set up a tent there. Remember that some people are not very nice human beings. But that most are, and just make mistakes like we all do.
Remember not to be ugly, a truly descriptive term if there ever was one.
Remember to police yourself, and others, in all these things, without being ugly.
And remember...The best way to lead...is by example.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Dale’s Tomato Pie
You know...Sometimes I wonder if there's any better use for fresh Tomato's, then "Dales Tomato Pie!" The smell while it's baking, and the it's surprisingly mild flavors are enough to drive you crazy! And, you might think it would turn out dry with all the Cheese...But the Olive Oil, and the Juices that come out of the Tomato's during baking, keeps it at just the right moisture levels, and balances the Savory flavors to the Tartness.
The recipe that follows, is just a guide line to this dish. The recipe was given to me in what I like to call, the "Dump" method. Not to much measuring, and explained as..."A sprinkle of this" or, "A bit of that" I have tried to be as accurate as I can remember, as I, myself, cook mostly without measuring.
1- Pie Crust
1- Bulb of Garlic
1/4 Cup of Olive Oil, Plus some additional drizzles if needed
1 1/2 lbs. of Mozzarella Cheese (Shredded)
6- Tbl. of Grated Parmesan Cheese
2- Tbl. of Grated Romano Cheese
1- Tbl. of Salt
2- tsp. of Dried Oregano
2- tsp. of Dried Garlic Powder
1- tsp. of Dried Basil
1- tsp. of Black Pepper
2- Tomato's
Pre-Heat Oven to 400 Degrees. Peel away the outer layers of the Garlic Bulb Skin, leaving the Skins of the individual Cloves intact. Using a knife, cut off 1/4 to a 1/2 inch of the top of Cloves, exposing the individual Cloves of Garlic. Place the Garlic Head in a Baking Pan, or a Muffin Pan work well for this purpose. Drizzle a couple Teaspoons of Olive Oil, and a little Salt over each head, using your Fingers to make sure the Garlic Head is well coated. Cover with Aluminum Foil, and Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until the Cloves feel soft when pressed.
Pre-Heat Oven to 375 degrees. Mold Pie Crust in a Pie Dish, and Prick the Bottom, and the sides with a Fork, to let the Steam out, and some of the Goodness in. Smash the garlic up in the 1/4 Cup of Olive Oil, and Brush, or spread some of the mixture all over the bottom, and sides of the Pie Crust. Dust the Crust with some of the Garlic powder, Salt, and 2- Tbl. of the Grated Parmesan. Layer on 1/4 of the Mozzarella, and then dust with some more Garlic Powder, Salt, Black Pepper, 1- tsp. of the Dried Oregano, and a few Drizzles of the Olive Oil. Cover with another 1/4 of the Mozzarella.
Slice Tomato's about 1/2 inch thick, and place on top of Cheese to form a complete layer. Dust with some Salt, the tsp. of Dried Basil, the 2- Tbl. of Romano Cheese, and the a few drizzles of the Olive Oil. Layer another 1/4 of the Mozzarella on top of that, and dust with more Garlic Powder, Salt, 2- Tbl. of the Grated Parmesan, and the other 1- tsp. of Dried Oregano. Cover with the last 1/4 of the Mozzarella, the remaining 2 Tbl. of Parmesan, Salt, Garlic Powder, and a few Drizzles of the Olive Oil, and bake for 25 min.
Now comes the hard part...You have to now let it sit, and firm up, before you cut it, for 20 min. as the smell drives you Crazy!
Tips & Suggestions;
1) This dish has infinite possibilities, as far as Ingredients. From different Cheeses, to Meats, to Vegetables.
2) I have, in a hurry, just cooked a few Chopped up Garlic Cloves in the Olive Oil, in the microwave. Takes about a Min.
3) With a Salad, this is a great Lunch, or Dinner. Or, it can also be used as an Appetizer.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Road Kill Turkey and Mashed Potatoes
Happy Thanksgiving! This is my favorite Holiday of the year. I really like to eat...And being Thankful is something that we all need to take the time out to do. I guess so much so, that they invented a Holiday...just for the purpose! People have a lot of different traditions, and Foods at Thanksgiving. Different ways that they show they're thankfulness. And sometimes they even have a Thanksgiving story. Maybe a Story well...Out of the ordinary. I have one of those Stories.
Thanksgiving day, in 1971, I was 13 years old. My three older Brothers, and my Sister, were all Married, and had families of they're own by then. And my Brothers had not only moved out of the house, but had all moved to different States, and so as chance had it that year, they were not coming for Thanksgiving. Now my Sister only lived a few miles away, and so we enjoyed the Holiday's together every year. But I guess as a Grown Woman, maybe wanting to start making her own mark, she had requested to have the Thanksgiving Meal, at her house that year. And so the plan was, that My Mother, and I, would go over there to have the Thanksgiving.
Now my Sister had a Toddler, and a Newborn at the time, and so as to ease the burden, they had decided that my Mother, would make half of the meal, and my Sister, would make the other half. I can not remember exactly how the meal was to be split up...but what I do most certainly recall, is that amongst the things that my Mother was to do, were to Roast the Turkey, and make the Gravy! I woke up Thanksgiving Morning...rubbed my eyes, and about halfway through my stretching, and yawning, my nostrils kicked in. Mother of course had already been up for hours, and so they filled with all the the great aromas that permeate a house on Thanksgiving day. And of course...the dominate aroma, was Turkey, aah...does anything smell better then a Turkey roasting on Thanksgiving day!
Now as a family, we grew up very poor. And so, we never did own a Car. So my Sisters Husband, my Brother in-law, was to drive over, and pick us, and everything my Mother had prepared up, and take it all back to they're house. When he showed up, my Mother and He, talked about what would be put where in the Car. Either here or there, and would the Items be safe...Would they survive the six mile drive intact. Now the Turkey was in this great Big Aluminum Roaster that my Mother always used, and the decision was, that the best place for the safety of that, would be the in the Trunk. Now at 13 years old, you leap on any opportunity to prove that your growing up...To prove that your a young Man now, and that you are capable of handling responsibilities...And more Importantly, That you are worthy of taking over some of the Ceremonial Elements that accompany a Holiday. And so It was with Eagerness, and Pride when I spoke up, and volunteered, to carry the Turkey out and put it in the Car. At first they were a little Doubtful...But with some pushing on my part, and my Brother In-Law risking his neck by agreeing that I could do it, my Mom said OK, and so my Brother In-Law handed me the Keys, I grabbed the Roaster, and out the door I went.
My Brother in-law had a Yellow 1967 Old Delta 88 two door, with a Black Landau Roof. I loved that Car. Not only did I think it was Sporty looking, and cool, but my Brother in-law had taken me Hunting, and Fishing in it, and had even let me Steer it a few times while he was driving. It had lots of Gadgets, like Power Windows, and a Power Drivers Seat, and it even had a Power Trunk Release Button in the Glove Box. And so it was with Joy, and Pride that I walked out to the Car...Caring my Freshly Entrusted, New Found-Grown Up Responsibility, in my hands. Now as I said...I loved that Cars Gadgets. And so when I got out to the Car, I sat the Roaster down halfway on the Trunk Lid, and halfway on the Fender and instead of using the Keys to unlock the Trunk, I went for the Glove Box, and that Cool Power Trunk Release Button.
Why is it, that sometimes when you make a mistake...your mind tells you the First Second after it's too late, instead of the Second, before it's too late?...Such was the case at that moment...Such was the case when I heard the Trunk Releases Loud Pop...And such was the case when I remembered...just how stiff those Springs were for the Trunk Lid...How they just Snapped that Trunk Lid right up! And why is it...that you have to look!...Why must you, for some reason, witness the Tragic consequences of what your actions have caused? And so, I stood up, and turned, and looked...And I witnessed the Numerous Laws of Physics, Science, that I had set into motion unfold. Now I've learned through life, that in Certain Situations...you might not be in total control of your mind. Your thoughts,Your Mind, your Body...They React on they're own...And on that Day...And at that Time...my Mind took over, and controlled my Body.
Now there was no Sound...I had went Deaf as the Trunk Lid slowly gained speed...There was no Debate in my mind...I knew what was going to happen..And So I ran...But even with my Ancestral, Primordial, Savanna Dwelling, Instincts kicking in...my Bolt to Close the Trunk was too late...And so I watched with Horror as the Coup de Grace Passed, and over ,and off the the Turkey went.
It was in Slow Motion when everything flew...The Roasters lid came off and went in one direction, and the Turkey, and the Drippings flew in another. The Technicolor of the Turkeys Beautiful Browns and Golds were actually...quite Beautiful as it appeared...gained speed and...was launched into Space. And my Eyes watched in IMAX-3D, as gravity took over and everything crashed to the ground. And it was then my Hearing came back, as I heard the sound of Trunk Lid close...I had almost made it.
At first I was frozen in place Physically and Mentally as I stared down at the Carnage covering the Street in front of my House...The Turkey was on its side... scattered bits of Stuffing were everywhere...and all the Gravy Making Drippings where gone....All gone, spread out all over the Street...Steam coming off of everything. And as I came out of my Shock, Instincts kicked in once again, and I immediately turned my Head, to see if anyone was standing in our Kitchen Window, since it looked out onto the Street... But I saw no one...They didn't see! Once again Instincts, kicked in, and I found myself picking up the Turkey...throwing it back into the Roaster, and putting it all back on the Trunk Lid, before anyone Did see!
I stood there, mind racing to find a solution to get me out of the Enormous trouble that I knew I was in. And when nothing quickly came, I decide to act like I was Fumbling for the Keys in my Pocket. Yea...That would buy some time in case some one was looking! And when that had been played out, and still I had no Solution...I put the Roaster on the Bumper, stuck the keys in the Trunk Lock, opened the Trunk Lid, and placed the Roaster in the Trunk...Just as I should have just done in the first place. With no Solution still yet at hand, I pulled off the Roasters lid, and looked down at the Turkey, to re-examine the my options. I had to think of something... There had to be a way to pull this off!
But as I lifted the Lid off the Roaster, and stared down at what was inside...I experienced what Alcoholics call a "Moment of Sobriety!" The Turkey was now warped in its shape and looked like it was falling over. There was a One Leg Half torn from its Thigh, and there was a 3 or 4 Inch Hole where the end of the Stuffing should have been. There was Dirt that was covering some of the Top, and most of one side, and it stuck out like a sore thumb, because of its flat color contrasting with the Shine of the Skin that was left unharmed on the rest of the Turkey. Oh...And Yea...There were all those tiny pieces of Gravel embedded in the meat.
No if your like most folks you remember that when your a Kid, your mind does not always recognise the Hopelessness of certain Situations, and so you will attempt to to Cover Up what is Uncoverable...you will attempt to Fix the UN-fixable...And...You might try Anything to become the Un-catchable! And so I began quickly to pick out the pieces of Gravel that had now become part of our Thanksgiving Feast. And I was desperately trying to wipe off the Dirt with an some Old Paper Towels that my Brother in-Law kept in the trunk for Fishing, Hunting, and checking the Cars Engine oil. And I tried my best to prop the Turkey back up with some of the Stuffing, and torn Skin. And to Reposition the Broken Turkey Leg back, and up, and leaning against the side of the Bird. But as the Turkey Leg broken off in my hand...and I looked at the Bird...I realised that I was not going to be able to pull this off. No Matter what I did, it was still going to be obvious that something had happened to the Turkey...Something, Bad...And that something, had been at my hands!
Still being somewhat delusional, I thought that as long as I got the Bird as clean as I could, I at least could just plead Guilty to the lesser offence of Tripping, instead of the 15 yard personal foul, and maybe even avoid Ejection from the Game! Yea...I Tripped, and almost dropped the Turkey. Yea..that caused the damage, that was why there was no Drippings left in the Roaster. It's was an unavoidable Accident! Why... Quite frankly...we were lucky that I caught it at all...Thanksgiving could have been ruined! I had saved the day! Heck...I probably deserve a "Well...Nice try!"...Or...they might even praise me! But as I picked at Gravel...more Meat came off...And as I wiped the Dirt...more Skin came off. And I finally realised...that it was Hopeless. And so I decided that fessing up to what had happened, was what I had to do. I had made...a terrible mistake...And so I picked up the Roaster and walked up the Sidewalk, and into the House to meet my Fate.
My eyes were on my Mother when I walked in. And When my Eyes met Hers, she was looking right through me, with a thousand yard stare...She had instantly knew... She said nothing as I sat it all on the Table. With my eyes still on Her, I took off the lid...I began picking at the Gravel and said, "I dropped it"..."It only hit the Ground a little Bit"..."We should be able to save some of it"....Not only could my Mother not Speak, but also had to walk out of the room!... And it was only then that I looked at my brother In-Law. He..was in Shock. His face was as blank as a postcard, and I don't think he was breathing. His Eyes did not even Blink as he looked at what just seconds ago was going to be his beautiful Thanksgiving Feast, and had now been turned into "Road Kill". I saw his Face go from Shock...to dis-belief...to disgust. He...walked outside.
I sat down at the Kitchen Table, and waited...And after a time, it was My Brother In-Law who came back in the room first, and said "Well...There's is nothing that we can do about it now". He wasn't Happy...But He wasn't Mad either. He told me to help him get everything loaded up into the Car, as he grabbed the Roaster and said "I'll Carry this". When we were done carrying everything out, he told me to wait in the Car, and he went back in the house. As I sat there I knew that he was trying to calm my Mother down, as she had not re-appeared from the Living Room by that time. After a few minuted he, and my Mother, came out the House, and got in the Car. No one said a word during the Drive to my Sisters House. And when we got there. My Mother, got out of the Car, and still silent, went straight in the house. My Brother In-Law, and I, got out, loaded our Hands, and Arms up, and walked into the House. My Mother had disappeared again, but apparently not before telling my Sister what had happened...I could tell by the look on Her Face. And with her Emotions in check, and with Sympathy for her little Brother...She gave me a big Hug.
And so with the Blessings that the Lord provides, especialy on a Thanksgiving Day....And with needed cool off time that the Emergency Menu adjustments gave...Everyone calmed down, and we all became Thankful once again, And when it was time...We sat down to our Thanksgiving Dinner. Everything my Sister made had turned out, And made it to the Table Intact! And so with that, we somehow managed to make it through...enjoying the simpler tastes...like picking Eatable Turkey out, from Earth and Stone...Or...just how good the Potato is on it's own! And that's how it was...Thanksgiving...1971! Three adults, one Adolescent, One Toddler and A Newborn...All sitting around a Table...Being thankful...for "Road Kill Turkey", and Mashed Potatoes.
-Mike-
Thanksgiving day, in 1971, I was 13 years old. My three older Brothers, and my Sister, were all Married, and had families of they're own by then. And my Brothers had not only moved out of the house, but had all moved to different States, and so as chance had it that year, they were not coming for Thanksgiving. Now my Sister only lived a few miles away, and so we enjoyed the Holiday's together every year. But I guess as a Grown Woman, maybe wanting to start making her own mark, she had requested to have the Thanksgiving Meal, at her house that year. And so the plan was, that My Mother, and I, would go over there to have the Thanksgiving.
Now my Sister had a Toddler, and a Newborn at the time, and so as to ease the burden, they had decided that my Mother, would make half of the meal, and my Sister, would make the other half. I can not remember exactly how the meal was to be split up...but what I do most certainly recall, is that amongst the things that my Mother was to do, were to Roast the Turkey, and make the Gravy! I woke up Thanksgiving Morning...rubbed my eyes, and about halfway through my stretching, and yawning, my nostrils kicked in. Mother of course had already been up for hours, and so they filled with all the the great aromas that permeate a house on Thanksgiving day. And of course...the dominate aroma, was Turkey, aah...does anything smell better then a Turkey roasting on Thanksgiving day!
Now as a family, we grew up very poor. And so, we never did own a Car. So my Sisters Husband, my Brother in-law, was to drive over, and pick us, and everything my Mother had prepared up, and take it all back to they're house. When he showed up, my Mother and He, talked about what would be put where in the Car. Either here or there, and would the Items be safe...Would they survive the six mile drive intact. Now the Turkey was in this great Big Aluminum Roaster that my Mother always used, and the decision was, that the best place for the safety of that, would be the in the Trunk. Now at 13 years old, you leap on any opportunity to prove that your growing up...To prove that your a young Man now, and that you are capable of handling responsibilities...And more Importantly, That you are worthy of taking over some of the Ceremonial Elements that accompany a Holiday. And so It was with Eagerness, and Pride when I spoke up, and volunteered, to carry the Turkey out and put it in the Car. At first they were a little Doubtful...But with some pushing on my part, and my Brother In-Law risking his neck by agreeing that I could do it, my Mom said OK, and so my Brother In-Law handed me the Keys, I grabbed the Roaster, and out the door I went.
My Brother in-law had a Yellow 1967 Old Delta 88 two door, with a Black Landau Roof. I loved that Car. Not only did I think it was Sporty looking, and cool, but my Brother in-law had taken me Hunting, and Fishing in it, and had even let me Steer it a few times while he was driving. It had lots of Gadgets, like Power Windows, and a Power Drivers Seat, and it even had a Power Trunk Release Button in the Glove Box. And so it was with Joy, and Pride that I walked out to the Car...Caring my Freshly Entrusted, New Found-Grown Up Responsibility, in my hands. Now as I said...I loved that Cars Gadgets. And so when I got out to the Car, I sat the Roaster down halfway on the Trunk Lid, and halfway on the Fender and instead of using the Keys to unlock the Trunk, I went for the Glove Box, and that Cool Power Trunk Release Button.
Why is it, that sometimes when you make a mistake...your mind tells you the First Second after it's too late, instead of the Second, before it's too late?...Such was the case at that moment...Such was the case when I heard the Trunk Releases Loud Pop...And such was the case when I remembered...just how stiff those Springs were for the Trunk Lid...How they just Snapped that Trunk Lid right up! And why is it...that you have to look!...Why must you, for some reason, witness the Tragic consequences of what your actions have caused? And so, I stood up, and turned, and looked...And I witnessed the Numerous Laws of Physics, Science, that I had set into motion unfold. Now I've learned through life, that in Certain Situations...you might not be in total control of your mind. Your thoughts,Your Mind, your Body...They React on they're own...And on that Day...And at that Time...my Mind took over, and controlled my Body.
Now there was no Sound...I had went Deaf as the Trunk Lid slowly gained speed...There was no Debate in my mind...I knew what was going to happen..And So I ran...But even with my Ancestral, Primordial, Savanna Dwelling, Instincts kicking in...my Bolt to Close the Trunk was too late...And so I watched with Horror as the Coup de Grace Passed, and over ,and off the the Turkey went.
It was in Slow Motion when everything flew...The Roasters lid came off and went in one direction, and the Turkey, and the Drippings flew in another. The Technicolor of the Turkeys Beautiful Browns and Golds were actually...quite Beautiful as it appeared...gained speed and...was launched into Space. And my Eyes watched in IMAX-3D, as gravity took over and everything crashed to the ground. And it was then my Hearing came back, as I heard the sound of Trunk Lid close...I had almost made it.
At first I was frozen in place Physically and Mentally as I stared down at the Carnage covering the Street in front of my House...The Turkey was on its side... scattered bits of Stuffing were everywhere...and all the Gravy Making Drippings where gone....All gone, spread out all over the Street...Steam coming off of everything. And as I came out of my Shock, Instincts kicked in once again, and I immediately turned my Head, to see if anyone was standing in our Kitchen Window, since it looked out onto the Street... But I saw no one...They didn't see! Once again Instincts, kicked in, and I found myself picking up the Turkey...throwing it back into the Roaster, and putting it all back on the Trunk Lid, before anyone Did see!
I stood there, mind racing to find a solution to get me out of the Enormous trouble that I knew I was in. And when nothing quickly came, I decide to act like I was Fumbling for the Keys in my Pocket. Yea...That would buy some time in case some one was looking! And when that had been played out, and still I had no Solution...I put the Roaster on the Bumper, stuck the keys in the Trunk Lock, opened the Trunk Lid, and placed the Roaster in the Trunk...Just as I should have just done in the first place. With no Solution still yet at hand, I pulled off the Roasters lid, and looked down at the Turkey, to re-examine the my options. I had to think of something... There had to be a way to pull this off!
But as I lifted the Lid off the Roaster, and stared down at what was inside...I experienced what Alcoholics call a "Moment of Sobriety!" The Turkey was now warped in its shape and looked like it was falling over. There was a One Leg Half torn from its Thigh, and there was a 3 or 4 Inch Hole where the end of the Stuffing should have been. There was Dirt that was covering some of the Top, and most of one side, and it stuck out like a sore thumb, because of its flat color contrasting with the Shine of the Skin that was left unharmed on the rest of the Turkey. Oh...And Yea...There were all those tiny pieces of Gravel embedded in the meat.
No if your like most folks you remember that when your a Kid, your mind does not always recognise the Hopelessness of certain Situations, and so you will attempt to to Cover Up what is Uncoverable...you will attempt to Fix the UN-fixable...And...You might try Anything to become the Un-catchable! And so I began quickly to pick out the pieces of Gravel that had now become part of our Thanksgiving Feast. And I was desperately trying to wipe off the Dirt with an some Old Paper Towels that my Brother in-Law kept in the trunk for Fishing, Hunting, and checking the Cars Engine oil. And I tried my best to prop the Turkey back up with some of the Stuffing, and torn Skin. And to Reposition the Broken Turkey Leg back, and up, and leaning against the side of the Bird. But as the Turkey Leg broken off in my hand...and I looked at the Bird...I realised that I was not going to be able to pull this off. No Matter what I did, it was still going to be obvious that something had happened to the Turkey...Something, Bad...And that something, had been at my hands!
Still being somewhat delusional, I thought that as long as I got the Bird as clean as I could, I at least could just plead Guilty to the lesser offence of Tripping, instead of the 15 yard personal foul, and maybe even avoid Ejection from the Game! Yea...I Tripped, and almost dropped the Turkey. Yea..that caused the damage, that was why there was no Drippings left in the Roaster. It's was an unavoidable Accident! Why... Quite frankly...we were lucky that I caught it at all...Thanksgiving could have been ruined! I had saved the day! Heck...I probably deserve a "Well...Nice try!"...Or...they might even praise me! But as I picked at Gravel...more Meat came off...And as I wiped the Dirt...more Skin came off. And I finally realised...that it was Hopeless. And so I decided that fessing up to what had happened, was what I had to do. I had made...a terrible mistake...And so I picked up the Roaster and walked up the Sidewalk, and into the House to meet my Fate.
My eyes were on my Mother when I walked in. And When my Eyes met Hers, she was looking right through me, with a thousand yard stare...She had instantly knew... She said nothing as I sat it all on the Table. With my eyes still on Her, I took off the lid...I began picking at the Gravel and said, "I dropped it"..."It only hit the Ground a little Bit"..."We should be able to save some of it"....Not only could my Mother not Speak, but also had to walk out of the room!... And it was only then that I looked at my brother In-Law. He..was in Shock. His face was as blank as a postcard, and I don't think he was breathing. His Eyes did not even Blink as he looked at what just seconds ago was going to be his beautiful Thanksgiving Feast, and had now been turned into "Road Kill". I saw his Face go from Shock...to dis-belief...to disgust. He...walked outside.
I sat down at the Kitchen Table, and waited...And after a time, it was My Brother In-Law who came back in the room first, and said "Well...There's is nothing that we can do about it now". He wasn't Happy...But He wasn't Mad either. He told me to help him get everything loaded up into the Car, as he grabbed the Roaster and said "I'll Carry this". When we were done carrying everything out, he told me to wait in the Car, and he went back in the house. As I sat there I knew that he was trying to calm my Mother down, as she had not re-appeared from the Living Room by that time. After a few minuted he, and my Mother, came out the House, and got in the Car. No one said a word during the Drive to my Sisters House. And when we got there. My Mother, got out of the Car, and still silent, went straight in the house. My Brother In-Law, and I, got out, loaded our Hands, and Arms up, and walked into the House. My Mother had disappeared again, but apparently not before telling my Sister what had happened...I could tell by the look on Her Face. And with her Emotions in check, and with Sympathy for her little Brother...She gave me a big Hug.
And so with the Blessings that the Lord provides, especialy on a Thanksgiving Day....And with needed cool off time that the Emergency Menu adjustments gave...Everyone calmed down, and we all became Thankful once again, And when it was time...We sat down to our Thanksgiving Dinner. Everything my Sister made had turned out, And made it to the Table Intact! And so with that, we somehow managed to make it through...enjoying the simpler tastes...like picking Eatable Turkey out, from Earth and Stone...Or...just how good the Potato is on it's own! And that's how it was...Thanksgiving...1971! Three adults, one Adolescent, One Toddler and A Newborn...All sitting around a Table...Being thankful...for "Road Kill Turkey", and Mashed Potatoes.
-Mike-
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Giving and Receiving
When I was a child growing up, my thoughts on the giving/receiving ratio were at about 100% on the receiving side. Giving was alright, but mainly because of what would be thought of you, if you did not give. Yep...It was definitely at best 1/99 It was definitely better to receive!
When I got to the teen stage, the ratio was at about 25/75. Giving was cool...Giving was something that you should do...I certainly understood that...But ha...I knew what was natural...I knew what was obvious...It was still better to receive. I mean...I wasn't a kid anymore. I mean, Isn't that one of the things you get now that your growning up?...The really Grown-Up-Adult cool stuff?
Then I became a young Man, with a Wife, and a Child, and the ratio finally hit the 50/50 point. Partially because you hit the point where you really realize...Your not a kid anymore...Your a Grown-Up now! And that saying..."Christmas is for kids"...Doesn't just mean December 25Th.
Also partially, because like most folks, your not swimming in money. And so you begin to accept things like...No ones going to give you that ridiculous Stereo system you dream to have. You know...The one that your favorite Rock Band would be proud to own. The one that would blow the walls of your house out at 1/2 volume. The one that you would never dare to turn up all the way for fear of causing a Natural Disaster!
Or maybe it was something like that..."It contains every Tool that we sell here at Sears Sir"... You know...That tool set that you've salivated over. You know...The one where you can't even identify half of the tools in it, more or less know what there used for. Well...maybe not...but they're shinny...and there's lots of them too!...And some of them have Electrical Plugs! Ha, ha, Power Tools!!
Or maybe your dream was that little gift wrapped box that opens up to a set of Keys that go to a Foreign Sports Car. The one all new, and shinny, and clean with a big Red Bow on it, awaiting you in the driveway. You know...the one that already comes with 2 Speeding Tickets under the Wiper. The one that comes with its own legal team to defend all those whiplash lawsuits. The one that surely will be coming your way as people can not help themselves, but to turn their heads too quickly, so as not to miss observing any of the coolness that you and your new car flash as you speed by. Yea...That one! Well...No!...you realize...Chances are...None of these things are going to happen!
And lastly...partially because you really are starting to grow up. Really beginning to learn some lessons about life. Some of those, that they really have been trying to hammer into you. Like..."you really should eat your Vegetables", even if you don't like them. Or "Save some money for your future". Or maybe it was "Don't burn your Bridges behind you". Or "What goes around, comes around". Or...how about, "It is better to give, then to receive". Yea...What about that one!
By the time Midlife starts to kick in...You've laid down a good foundation of giving. Your proud of the things you've done for others...For yourself, and your Family. You've built a Home, and a Family with you own two hands, and seen the needs, and wants of others, and tried your best to fill them. You might have had some help along the way...sure. But you've worked hard for everything you've gotten, and you didn't take Charity from anyone! And, surely, the Giving/Receiving ratio has got to be like...80/20 by now! You really are proud!
And it is that Pride, that brings us to the reason for this post today. That pride that wont permit you to take anything from anybody. That pride that dictates that any large gift, not on a holiday, is charity. It is that Pride that you can hold so high, that it not only can shade your needs, but also the needs of those around you. And sometimes even the need...that someone might have, to give...to you! Now I've wrestled with this pride, and imagine that I always will have to...As a matter of fact...I had to just today. Because today I received a gift...Today, I was on the receiving end. And as it turned out, as so many things in life do...I ended up receiving much more than myself, or even the giver had imagined. Because today...I didn't just get a gift...Today I was touched by an Angel!
Now it's not Christmas...It's not my Birthday...There is no Anniversary to celebrate...And there is no tragic need...It's just a day...A regular day. And so when out of the Blue somebody wanted to do something for me...A big something! My first thoughts were..."Why would you do that?...What do you think, I can't do it for myself?"! And then "I can't let you do that"! And it was my pride that was controlling my reactions. It was later that I learned that it was my pride that had controlled my thoughts. It was my pride that actually made the moment, well...Embarrassing. And so, my first reaction was to fall back on my pride, and refuse.
But now my giver didn't take no for an answer. Didn't say, "Well OK, If that's how you feel about it", and go. Didn't say "Are you sure I can't do this for you?", get a "Thanks, but No Thanks", and give up. No...They just continued to further explain why they wanted to do this. And so after some debate, and with a "uncomfortable situational laugh", I promised that the gift would be considered.
At first I looked at it through my prideful eyes, and even though I really could use this gift, I thought of it in nothing but negative terms. "I mean after all...This was going to screw my Giving/Receiving ratio all up!" But then over half a Century of living kicked in, and I thought about some of the lessons that had been taught to me. Some of the lessons, that I now try to pass on, to the next generation. And in particular, a lesson that I thought I had completely learned. The lesson that it is better to give, than to receive. And my thoughts led me to, maybe I had not completely learned the lesson of Giving, and receiving. And maybe, I had not been passing on the entire lesson. Maybe...I should think a little differently, and a little more, about the receiving end now.
So I thought about all the times I had given, and how good it had made me feel. I thought about the reasons, that this giver, had for their act of kindness. The reasons, that they had, for wanting to fill a need, that I had. And the reasons that they, had only wanted to be know, as "Somebody". And I realized that maybe my Giving/Receiving Ratio was already out of whack! That maybe, I had not completely learned the lesson. Because maybe this was, "What goes around, comes around"...Maybe this was "As so you shall Sow, So shall you Reap!"... Maybe...By receiving...I was helping to fulfill a need, that this somebody had...for giving. For when it comes down to it...this was gift at it's purest form...It was a gift of love.
And so, the reasons for this post today is to hopefully pass on some additional parts to a lesson, that I thought, I had a complete learned. Do not let your pride dominate your decsions. Do not let your pride stand in the way of your needs, or the needs of others. Do not let your pide stand in the way of others, giving, to you. For even though it is better to give than to receive, do not let your pride get your Giving/Receiving ratio so completely out of whack, that you believe, that giving to you,is charity.
And I want to say "Thank-You" to my giver...my somebody. Not only for their gift, and their kindness...but also for thier caring, and love. And also for their help in teaching me another lesson. For today...I was loved...I was cared for...And I was taught of love. Today...I was touched by an Angel
-Mike-
When I got to the teen stage, the ratio was at about 25/75. Giving was cool...Giving was something that you should do...I certainly understood that...But ha...I knew what was natural...I knew what was obvious...It was still better to receive. I mean...I wasn't a kid anymore. I mean, Isn't that one of the things you get now that your growning up?...The really Grown-Up-Adult cool stuff?
Then I became a young Man, with a Wife, and a Child, and the ratio finally hit the 50/50 point. Partially because you hit the point where you really realize...Your not a kid anymore...Your a Grown-Up now! And that saying..."Christmas is for kids"...Doesn't just mean December 25Th.
Also partially, because like most folks, your not swimming in money. And so you begin to accept things like...No ones going to give you that ridiculous Stereo system you dream to have. You know...The one that your favorite Rock Band would be proud to own. The one that would blow the walls of your house out at 1/2 volume. The one that you would never dare to turn up all the way for fear of causing a Natural Disaster!
Or maybe it was something like that..."It contains every Tool that we sell here at Sears Sir"... You know...That tool set that you've salivated over. You know...The one where you can't even identify half of the tools in it, more or less know what there used for. Well...maybe not...but they're shinny...and there's lots of them too!...And some of them have Electrical Plugs! Ha, ha, Power Tools!!
Or maybe your dream was that little gift wrapped box that opens up to a set of Keys that go to a Foreign Sports Car. The one all new, and shinny, and clean with a big Red Bow on it, awaiting you in the driveway. You know...the one that already comes with 2 Speeding Tickets under the Wiper. The one that comes with its own legal team to defend all those whiplash lawsuits. The one that surely will be coming your way as people can not help themselves, but to turn their heads too quickly, so as not to miss observing any of the coolness that you and your new car flash as you speed by. Yea...That one! Well...No!...you realize...Chances are...None of these things are going to happen!
And lastly...partially because you really are starting to grow up. Really beginning to learn some lessons about life. Some of those, that they really have been trying to hammer into you. Like..."you really should eat your Vegetables", even if you don't like them. Or "Save some money for your future". Or maybe it was "Don't burn your Bridges behind you". Or "What goes around, comes around". Or...how about, "It is better to give, then to receive". Yea...What about that one!
By the time Midlife starts to kick in...You've laid down a good foundation of giving. Your proud of the things you've done for others...For yourself, and your Family. You've built a Home, and a Family with you own two hands, and seen the needs, and wants of others, and tried your best to fill them. You might have had some help along the way...sure. But you've worked hard for everything you've gotten, and you didn't take Charity from anyone! And, surely, the Giving/Receiving ratio has got to be like...80/20 by now! You really are proud!
And it is that Pride, that brings us to the reason for this post today. That pride that wont permit you to take anything from anybody. That pride that dictates that any large gift, not on a holiday, is charity. It is that Pride that you can hold so high, that it not only can shade your needs, but also the needs of those around you. And sometimes even the need...that someone might have, to give...to you! Now I've wrestled with this pride, and imagine that I always will have to...As a matter of fact...I had to just today. Because today I received a gift...Today, I was on the receiving end. And as it turned out, as so many things in life do...I ended up receiving much more than myself, or even the giver had imagined. Because today...I didn't just get a gift...Today I was touched by an Angel!
Now it's not Christmas...It's not my Birthday...There is no Anniversary to celebrate...And there is no tragic need...It's just a day...A regular day. And so when out of the Blue somebody wanted to do something for me...A big something! My first thoughts were..."Why would you do that?...What do you think, I can't do it for myself?"! And then "I can't let you do that"! And it was my pride that was controlling my reactions. It was later that I learned that it was my pride that had controlled my thoughts. It was my pride that actually made the moment, well...Embarrassing. And so, my first reaction was to fall back on my pride, and refuse.
But now my giver didn't take no for an answer. Didn't say, "Well OK, If that's how you feel about it", and go. Didn't say "Are you sure I can't do this for you?", get a "Thanks, but No Thanks", and give up. No...They just continued to further explain why they wanted to do this. And so after some debate, and with a "uncomfortable situational laugh", I promised that the gift would be considered.
At first I looked at it through my prideful eyes, and even though I really could use this gift, I thought of it in nothing but negative terms. "I mean after all...This was going to screw my Giving/Receiving ratio all up!" But then over half a Century of living kicked in, and I thought about some of the lessons that had been taught to me. Some of the lessons, that I now try to pass on, to the next generation. And in particular, a lesson that I thought I had completely learned. The lesson that it is better to give, than to receive. And my thoughts led me to, maybe I had not completely learned the lesson of Giving, and receiving. And maybe, I had not been passing on the entire lesson. Maybe...I should think a little differently, and a little more, about the receiving end now.
So I thought about all the times I had given, and how good it had made me feel. I thought about the reasons, that this giver, had for their act of kindness. The reasons, that they had, for wanting to fill a need, that I had. And the reasons that they, had only wanted to be know, as "Somebody". And I realized that maybe my Giving/Receiving Ratio was already out of whack! That maybe, I had not completely learned the lesson. Because maybe this was, "What goes around, comes around"...Maybe this was "As so you shall Sow, So shall you Reap!"... Maybe...By receiving...I was helping to fulfill a need, that this somebody had...for giving. For when it comes down to it...this was gift at it's purest form...It was a gift of love.
And so, the reasons for this post today is to hopefully pass on some additional parts to a lesson, that I thought, I had a complete learned. Do not let your pride dominate your decsions. Do not let your pride stand in the way of your needs, or the needs of others. Do not let your pide stand in the way of others, giving, to you. For even though it is better to give than to receive, do not let your pride get your Giving/Receiving ratio so completely out of whack, that you believe, that giving to you,is charity.
And I want to say "Thank-You" to my giver...my somebody. Not only for their gift, and their kindness...but also for thier caring, and love. And also for their help in teaching me another lesson. For today...I was loved...I was cared for...And I was taught of love. Today...I was touched by an Angel
-Mike-
Monday, November 2, 2009
Happy Halloween...Always
Well another Halloween has come, and gone, and I must say...we enjoyed. Of course I'm just a big kid at heart, and so it's not to surprising that I would enjoy it so much.
From carving the Jacks, to decorating the house. From dressing up, to handing out treats. Halloween's got a lot going for it!
I was bothered by the amount of Trick or Treater's though. Also the 90 percent of the houses on my street without decor...without even a porch light on.
Maybe it was the weather? It was supposed to be rainy, and...sure enough it did sprinkle a little, for a short time, but not much. And the weather was 60 degrees...downright balmy for a Halloween in the North East!
Maybe it was the Swine Flu threat? People sure seem to be taking a lot of precautions against contracting it. But when you look at it...in reality...it's a small percentage of people who have it, or, who are carriers, and so your risk is minimal.
Maybe....
It is another tradition falling to the wayside in this newer, fast paced,what about me, modern time. Every year it seems like less, and less kids...Every year it seems like less, and less houses handing out treats. And while the I understand that the times do and will change, I really hope that we do not permit this tradition, to be one of those changes. Children are robbed of they're innocence so early now...so much is expected of them at an early age...That I think they are being robbed of something that is very important...The magic that is just being a child.
My wife and I, are so many times singled out, and labeled as "Rock-Well-ian". As though we are a blast from the past. And I guess what amazes us most is that it is always phrased as a term of endearment...like it would be so nice if they could have that. Neither of us can understand...why they can't.
For we also live in these modern times...We have embraced the technology that is permitting me to post this letter today! And, yet...when it comes to the old traditions...we have chosen the to keep some of the old ways...to do everything we can to keep them alive. We do not understand why people can not put the brakes on the fast pace, for a least a short time to enjoy some of the old ways. Don't be afraid to let your kids, be kids. Don't be afraid to sometimes be a kid again yourself!
For as much as change is inevitable, it also fogs, and eventually hides what once was...so only those who knew of it, can find it once again.
-Mike-
From carving the Jacks, to decorating the house. From dressing up, to handing out treats. Halloween's got a lot going for it!
I was bothered by the amount of Trick or Treater's though. Also the 90 percent of the houses on my street without decor...without even a porch light on.
Maybe it was the weather? It was supposed to be rainy, and...sure enough it did sprinkle a little, for a short time, but not much. And the weather was 60 degrees...downright balmy for a Halloween in the North East!
Maybe it was the Swine Flu threat? People sure seem to be taking a lot of precautions against contracting it. But when you look at it...in reality...it's a small percentage of people who have it, or, who are carriers, and so your risk is minimal.
Maybe....
It is another tradition falling to the wayside in this newer, fast paced,what about me, modern time. Every year it seems like less, and less kids...Every year it seems like less, and less houses handing out treats. And while the I understand that the times do and will change, I really hope that we do not permit this tradition, to be one of those changes. Children are robbed of they're innocence so early now...so much is expected of them at an early age...That I think they are being robbed of something that is very important...The magic that is just being a child.
My wife and I, are so many times singled out, and labeled as "Rock-Well-ian". As though we are a blast from the past. And I guess what amazes us most is that it is always phrased as a term of endearment...like it would be so nice if they could have that. Neither of us can understand...why they can't.
For we also live in these modern times...We have embraced the technology that is permitting me to post this letter today! And, yet...when it comes to the old traditions...we have chosen the to keep some of the old ways...to do everything we can to keep them alive. We do not understand why people can not put the brakes on the fast pace, for a least a short time to enjoy some of the old ways. Don't be afraid to let your kids, be kids. Don't be afraid to sometimes be a kid again yourself!
For as much as change is inevitable, it also fogs, and eventually hides what once was...so only those who knew of it, can find it once again.
-Mike-
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Fall
Fall...Beautiful, wonderful, Fall! This is truly one of my most favorite of all the seasons. It's hard to let Summer go, (My Favorite Season), but with Fall comes...the crisp in the air...and the beauty that is the trees. And while it does bring some additional chores...the raking of the leaves, the Caulking of the windows and Doors, the putting up of all of your Summer yard tools, and machines....the small amount of labor that you do to get your House ready for Winter, yields the warmth,and security that is your home.
And the feel of a sweater or jacket, or your favorite Fleece...it's like...a hug from a loved one...it just makes you feel warm all over.And that smell of the leaves. Ahh...that smell...how can something that is decaying smell so sweet to you?
And how about those heartier meals that you start to get enjoying again. Stews and Soups...Breads and Biscuits...Meat and Potatoes...And Gravy...Beautiful, Rich, Delicious, Gravy. Why do you think that Jones came up with that Soda? They're all like a hug from the inside! Warm and True...Satisfying,and Gratifying.
And when Halloween arrives...with all the fun and memories from your childhood relived with the handing out of treats, and the decorating of Ghost & Goblins all over the house.
And then it all climaxes with Thanksgiving. Even more that Christmas...I enjoy Thanksgiving! I've had Turkey at different times through-out the years...But it's never as good. And you know...I've been Thankful at lots of different times in my life...but it's not the same.
Yes...I am thankful for Fall!
-Mike-
And the feel of a sweater or jacket, or your favorite Fleece...it's like...a hug from a loved one...it just makes you feel warm all over.And that smell of the leaves. Ahh...that smell...how can something that is decaying smell so sweet to you?
And how about those heartier meals that you start to get enjoying again. Stews and Soups...Breads and Biscuits...Meat and Potatoes...And Gravy...Beautiful, Rich, Delicious, Gravy. Why do you think that Jones came up with that Soda? They're all like a hug from the inside! Warm and True...Satisfying,and Gratifying.
And when Halloween arrives...with all the fun and memories from your childhood relived with the handing out of treats, and the decorating of Ghost & Goblins all over the house.
And then it all climaxes with Thanksgiving. Even more that Christmas...I enjoy Thanksgiving! I've had Turkey at different times through-out the years...But it's never as good. And you know...I've been Thankful at lots of different times in my life...but it's not the same.
Yes...I am thankful for Fall!
-Mike-
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)